St. Isaac the Syrian - “When a man has truly drawn near to God, he sees himself as the greatest of sinners.”
There is a subtle temptation in religious life: the temptation to act holy rather than become holy. Many Christians showcase their faith through words, actions, and outward piety, not out of genuine love for God, but because they have not yet grasped their complete dependence on His mercy. When holiness is misunderstood in this way, it becomes a mask, and Christianity turns into something performed for others rather than a reality lived in the heart.
At the root of this performance is a dangerous miscalculation. We underestimate our sin and overestimate our goodness. Bible warns us plainly: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).
The person who believes he is already righteous feels little need for repentance. The person who has truly encountered God feels the opposite. Scripture shows this again and again. Isaiah, standing before the holiness of the Lord, cries out, “Woe is me, for I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5). Peter falls at Christ’s knees and says, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8). The publican in the parable does not even lift his eyes to heaven, but prays, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13). Encountering holiness does not produce self confidence. It produces humility.
St. Charbel expresses this truth clearly: "The more the holiness grows in man, the more he ceases to see it."
St. Charbel teaches that as holiness truly grows in a person, self awareness of holiness fades rather than increases. This is because holiness is not a possession one can observe, measure, or admire, but a participation in the life of God. As grace purifies the soul, it strips away self focus, pride, and comparison. The person no longer looks at himself, whether to praise or to condemn, but looks toward God. Just as the eye cannot see itself when it is healthy, the soul that is being healed ceases to reflect on its own virtue. What remains is humility, obedience, and gratitude. To see oneself as holy is already to have stepped away from holiness, because true sanctity forgets itself and rests entirely in God’s mercy and will.
True holiness does not draw attention to itself. It becomes hidden. It becomes obedient. Our Lord Himself teaches that obedience is the mark of love: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). The holier the soul becomes, the more willingly it submits to God, to the Church, and to legitimate authority. Obedience is not weakness. Christ Himself “humbled himself and became obedient unto death” (Philippians 2:8). The saints obey because they no longer trust themselves. They trust God.
As the soul bears more fruit, it becomes more humble. This is the unmistakable sign of authentic spiritual growth. Our Lord says, “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit” (John 15:8). Yet He also teaches, “When you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty’” (Luke 17:10). Where true fruit exists, humility follows. Where boasting and self display appear, the fruit is already corrupted.
I have seen many so called 'hardcore' Christians whose faith exists mainly as a public display. Christianity that is acted is not lived. We must seek honesty before God and ask Him to show us reality as it truly is, lest we fall into self deception and mistake appearance for holiness.
God has always rejected religious acting. Scripture speaks with severity against hypocrisy. The Lord declares through the prophet, “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me” (Isaiah 29:13). Christ Himself reserves His strongest words not for sinners, but for actors: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites” (Matthew 23:27). Those who pray to be seen, fast to be admired, quote Bible and theology to sound intellectual and display virtue for approval are nothing but actors and God hates it.
God desires truth in the heart, not performance before men. “Man sees what appears, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
To be genuine before God means allowing the world to think whatever it wishes. The holy person does not manage his image. He does not defend his reputation. He obeys the words of Christ: “Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake” (Matthew 5:11). He remembers that “we must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
Forget what people think of you. You are accountable only to the Lord. Listen to your conscience and to God. If either convicts you, do not ignore it. Repent and set things right with God immediately. Would you allow a thorn to remain in your flesh and keep pricking you? Of course not. You would remove it at once. How much more, then, should you deal with sin or anything that troubles your conscience? Remove it immediately and give it over to God.
To understand sin deeply is not to despair. It is to become honest. Sin is not only what we do, but what we carry within us: pride, self love, judgment, and spiritual vanity. Scripture warns that even religious acts can become empty when charity is absent: “If I give away all I have, and deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:3). These sins flourish when faith becomes external and theatrical.
The saints did not trust their own virtue. They trusted mercy. Saint Paul, after a life of apostleship, still declares, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Timothy 1:15). As holiness increased, confidence in self decreased. Yet this humility never led to despair, because it rested entirely on grace. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
This is the paradox of holiness. “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). The closer the soul comes to God, the smaller it becomes in its own eyes, and the more freely it rests in grace. The truly holy person is not concerned with "appearing" holy. He is concerned with being faithful.
We should therefore examine ourselves honestly. Are we obedient when obedience costs us something. Are we humble when fruit appears. Are we silent when misunderstood. Are we more concerned with pleasing God than pleasing men.
When holiness grows, acting must cease. Performance must die. The need to be admired must disappear. Saint Charbel reminds us that holiness does not elevate the ego. It dissolves it. And when the self fades, the soul finally stands before God as it truly is, poor, obedient, sincere and wholly dependent on mercy.
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